Women adore focused men, as you’re probably already aware of. But most men and even women confuse the two with each other; being focused is not the same as being fixated.
The archetype of a man, who knows exactly what he goes for in life and always takes determined action is sexy as hell. If women sense, that a man sincerely pursues a destination higher than just banging chicks their attraction for him increases about 500%.
Men know this instinctively. It’s the paleolithic pattern of a tribe leader, who gets up every day for hustling hard for his vision he can already see. Men concentrate on their work and everybody’s talking about reaching their dreams and life goals.
Most men are not focused. They are fixated.
The ability to focus means the permanent awareness of surroundings or obstacles but nevertheless being able to funnel the attention regularly back on the essential, striven way. Imagine a paleolithic hunter, having his senses completely open for dangers and treats of the environment but constantly focusses his attention back to the herd of deers in front of him. he must be highly able to improvise and adapt quickly to changes of circumstances.
Now take a modern entrepreneur or a high-paid manager. Not that I’m phobic to managers, but this types of men radiate something fascinating to a lot of people, especially women: Power. Better said; They radiate a highly developed ability to permanently concentrate on what they want; namely only the best they can get. Always having the next business in mind and a meeting scheduled, not by accident “business” stems from the word “busy”.
Most of them are not focused, they are fixated. They concentrate only in a very specific outcome and blend out everything else completely. They seem like they’re cutting themselves off from their surroundings to have only their goals in mind 24/7. And indeed, they often do. Men who always have their minds occupied only by their goals and future successes can develop highly sociopathic traits. This isn’t the ability to re-focus your attention from a broader awareness to a single point like a buddhist monk, this is a highly egocentric “I want this and I care about nothing else!”.
Women fall for them in masses because they appear so similar to focused men. And they have lots of successes to show and brag with. Most women realize their failure too late or never at all.
To focus is a very, very important characteristic for a man, if not the most important at all.
If you live by a fixating approach, aside from being endangered to develop egocentric traits, you will miss most of life and realize it too late. Think of the career-oriented man who regrets in his 50ies that he barely spent time with his children. Think of an entrepreneur working 80 hours a week who faces divorces and losses of friendships just because of his lack of time left. Fixations let you forget about everything else around you. Despite of that, being fixated can also get dangerous. Imagine a tribal hunter, only having his eyes put on the deer and already mobilizing saliva in his mouth. If he ignores the rest of his senses and instincts, he may realize the sabretooth tiger hiding in the bushes too late. The last financial crisis and the covid-19 pandemic were this devastating, because the worlds rulers were too fixated on keeping their accostumed structures instead of re-adjusting on what is important.
By being able to focus, you can be empathetically aware of the emotional needs of a woman and nevertheless concentrate on creating a sexually pleasuring evening. Focus like a navy seal, who is hyper-aware of ambushes and ready to learn and improvise all the time but nevertheless pursues his mission determined.
Become a man of focus, not of fixations.